Okay, you are super rich and you bought yourself an expensive Rebel or a 50D/D90 or a full frame DSLR. Does that make you an ace photographer overnight? No! Having a $5000 camera and $10000 worth of lenses slung around your neck doesn't give you an instant degree in Professional Photography.
Here's a run-down of top 7 things you need to know or get rid of, before you torture the hapless "us."
7. STEADY HANDS. If you can't hold your breath for a few seconds, if you never rode a bike, if you can't hold a painting brush still, if you are so underweight that a strong wind can take you places, please do us a favor; please don't shoot. True, many cameras these days have Digital image stabilization; it is a much needed (and mandatory according to me) feature but there is no cure for shaky hands. If I see you snap a ghost photo, you are permanently barred from clicking for me ever!
6. ITCHY FINGERS. Some people just can't resist going "click,click,click" as soon as they have a camera in their hands. WAIT! Wait for the right moment, more importantly, puh-lease enjoy the moment (and let me enjoy too), wait for the right composition, the right colors, think about what is special about the photo you are taking. For example, there is nothing special about taking a photo of somebody eating. Looking at the innards of somebody's dentures, irrespective of how good the food was is downright gross and offensive. Following somebody's every move and making them uncomfortable will only give you worse pictures. . Of course, with the camera in your hands, you are itching to hit the shutter but that's exactly what makes the pictures ill-composed, ill timed and ridiculously un-professional.
5. Higher megapixels mean better photos -- WRONG.
No. At best, it might get you some looks from the desi junta but most of us would just frown at all that gear. The most significant if not the sole driver of price tag is the camera resolution. Yes, there is a lot of difference between a 1 Mega-Pixel camera and 3 MP one. However, there's not much to gain going from 12MP to 14MP; surely much less going from 14MP to 18MP. A sub $200 camera easily gets 8-10 MP these days and is adequate for most photographs. Plus you’d avoid all the noise if you’re not that into photography and use a lesser resolution camera.
4. 800x zoom means I won't need to zoom -- WRONG.
Mathematics isn't always right. A 10x optical zoom and an 80x digital zoom is not 800x total zoom! It is still 10x zoom. Doing an 80x digital zoom on a 2MP camera is laughable at best and no use in reality. Snap a higher MP shot and you can digitally zoom later. In fact, digital zoom is the worst feature cameras have. Disable it. Never use it, ever! Your camera is just as good as your optical zoom. Period.
3. It's the highest end model of a Nikon/Canon; so it's the best -- WRONG.
The sole reason something is a highest end model is so you'd pay lotsa $$$ for it. Assuming that the
highest end model will have all the features you'd ever need or will future proof your investment is plain wrong. Of course, there are certain things that the best known brands carry and are very valuable for example, a Carl Zeiss lens or multiple CCDs (I use a camcorder to double up as a camera sometimes.) or just the ability to add more lenses or filters mean your choices narrow down to a couple of good known brands like Sony, Canon or Nikon. Look for expandability, upgradability and manageability. Just don’t show off.
2. Look -- its so tiny, it's so cool --Doh!
An iPhone may have a camera but use it solely to ensure Apple didn’t cheat you into buying a phone that doesn’t have a camera. For that matter, Sony Ericsson phones have had much higher resolutions much earlier, all included with Xenon flash, cool MP3 player and headphones. It still is a damn phone. Don’t use it like a camera. Oh and spare us the fun of “ Look maa, no hands! Its autofocus” – WTF. Or, the evident lack of your brain power when you say “I read the manual, my camera has face detection!” -- uh okay face detection is cool but even more cool is when you know that I’m smiling naturally.
1. Look straight. Chin up, a little left - Say cheese! 
Just gimme a break will ya? Its all about composition, knowing your camera, reading the lights well, steady hands and a taste for the unusual moment – You’re not shooting my portfolio (unless of course you really are). And oh, if someone really is shy of camera, just don’t click it; Will ya? I really hate to see my hard work booted to stupid ignorance when somebody doesn’t trust in me. And if they don’t, they don’t deserve my handling of their photos. The same applies to you. Just don’t click if somebody says no. Oh, btw, looking straight always gives you a gangsta photo. That’s why they ask you to look straight in a passport or your DMV license. You need a good clip, you need a twisted mindset and the subject.
0. The final commandment.
Remember, a good photographer always makes up an excuse. If the picture ain’t good, it never existed. Please make an all out effort to enhance and post process every single snap. If the picture still doesn’t look good, discard it rather than subject somebody to a life-long painful memory. And if you do not know how to post process, please pick up a point and shoot camera.
Alright, lecture over.Class Dismiss.
Comments and flame welcome.