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Posted By Subodh on Tuesday, December 09, 2008
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image 7. Piss off enough number of higher management

First things first, you need to make sure you’re getting laid off. Hell, its a lot of $$$ man. You don’t want to take chances on this one. Make sure you reach out to everybody who matters and show them how insignificant you are to the overall vision of the company, how your sole purpose of  showing up for work is for the subsidized food and free coffee, you really don’t care a damn about anybody else around you. It also helps if you pick a fight with a few key members of your group just to ensure they’ll bitch about you well in time for the layoffs.

6. Get your house in order.

Collect all your receipts, find and fill out all the paperwork for Flexible spending accounts, reduce your burn rate, defer major purchases and finally make a call for all the work that you’ve been putting off. Once you lose access to your corporate intranet website, you’d find half these things impossible to do and the other half would be complicated by people who wouldn’t bother listening to you after you’ve ceased to be the employee of the corporation. So stop procrastinating and get your house in order. Get all your proof of income, copies of paychecks etc that are available to you online only via your corporate intranet.

5. Change your email(s), recover lost password(s).

If you’ve been with your present employer for a while, chances are you’ve signed up for utilities, accounts and other such (your own personal stuff) via your company’s email address. Did you think that if you forgot your password, the only way (most of the time) possible to recover that is via your email address (to which you won’t have access)? This includes your Messenger accounts, your email accounts, utilities, shopping accounts and other such. Make a checklist of your bank accounts as well and run through a quick check of who has your employer’s mailing address. Switch them now before its too late.

4. Clean up after you.

Most companies won’t give you enough notice time. Don’t plan on cleaning up after you’ve been intimated. Expect less than half an hour at your desk. Clean it up, separate your personal belongings from those ‘never unpacked’ moving boxes. This goes for your laptop too. You shouldn’t have kept any personal information on your corporate laptop. The laptop is meant for official use only. Know that now and clean up. Remember, DO NOT ever try to copy code from your office. The code that you wrote belongs to the company and do not try to scuttle anything before you leave no matter how happy you feel.

3. Say your Hi(s)  and Bye(s)

If you’ve been too busy with your work to ever notice anybody sitting around you, now is the time to say Hi to your neighbor. You’d be surprised at how many friends you could’ve made, grown your network. Eh, just a simple Hi will do for now since you’re such a busy person.

2. A 1000 Watt smile.

Finally, since you are feeling so happy, beam a 1000 Watt smile to everyone. Them people aren’t so lucky, you are getting laid (ahem, off), not them. Make them jealous. Smile like there’s no tomorrow. Make travel plans to Hawaii or your favorite escape. Now.

1. Forward this post to everyone you know.


Further read …

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 Comments & Discussions

  • Gravatar
    bipin Tuesday, December 09, 2008 at 10:01 PM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    Couldn't come at a better time winking

  • Gravatar
    anonymous Tuesday, December 09, 2008 at 10:54 PM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    dude, Get serious. I can see you poke fun at everything. Nice way to stay positive all the time but knowing how scared I am I would not do #7. Everything else is real good to know. I didn't even think of passwords to my personal account.
    all in all good posts - keep them coming

  • Gravatar
    paid_commenter Tuesday, December 09, 2008 at 11:10 PM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    In certain ways, option 7 is not a bad idea. You may actually WANT to be laid off.

    Seriously though, it's not the classiest thing to do, but you wouldn't be the first to do it.

  • Gravatar
    lava rock Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 12:09 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    Well I think your advice is solid, and its definitely things to consider. I also think that I would approach #7 a little more cautiously, but that's a matter of personal preference and style. Good post overall.

  • Gravatar
    been-laid Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 12:14 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    Right on. you should also clean up your mail box and remember once you are gone, your emails are received and managed by your superiors. so anything that you thought private is really not private.
    point 5 is very important imho

  • Gravatar
    L J Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 2:23 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    I can bet you know the package is realy cool or you won't write like this. FTW tell us man, maybe we want to be laid off if we know what you know.

  • Gravatar
    Subodh Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 2:26 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    @LJ I don't know what are you talking about sir. #7 and #1 were meant to be a joke if you didn't figure. The rest is plain advice that you should have known anyway.

  • Gravatar
    L J Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 2:29 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    ok. why do you say 7 then? It should really be 5. Misleading post

  • Gravatar
    Subodh Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 2:31 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    Coz 7 is my favorite number.

  • Gravatar
    yathin.livejournal.com Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 2:55 AM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    lol. awesome post!

  • Gravatar
    riyaz vali Saturday, January 03, 2009 at 3:29 PM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    interesting happy

  • Gravatar
    Sunitha Monday, January 05, 2009 at 9:03 PM
    Re: 7 things to do before you get laid off
    Haha, awesome article! Funny too, same time conveys what it needs to happy.

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